Blog Posts

Stop. Notice. (Bookmark Included) Now - Increasing My Bounce Back

3/30/2019

Essential to "bouncing back" from difficult moments is a simple process:
1. Stop
2. Notice what is going on inside my
a. body
b. emotions
c. thinking

This 60 second (or less) strategy allows us to determine the degree of our internal distress. This then gives us permission to take care of ourselves.

And that is the heart of bouncing back - noticing our heart rate, our emotional tone, our thinking patterns.

Interventions then follow:
a. I increase or decrease my heart rate (breathe, breathe, breathe!)
b. I shift my emotional intensity (breathe, just noticing the feeling and let it go, etc.)
c. think in a different way (focus on something else, remember a good memory, put a picture of an upcoming vacation in my head, say positive thoughts to myself - I an safe, I can handle this, I am OK, I am bigger than this moment, etc.)

Resilient Adults - Bouncing Back + Free Bookmark

3/19/2019

Caring adults helping kids ... can become worn, depleted, losing our "bounce." Have you had that experience? Did you replenish, regain your enthusiasm, your perspective?

One way of looking at resilience is "bouncing back":
- to a more energized physiology
- to a more positive emotional tone
- to a more hopeful thinking.

Often working with (or parenting) more complex kids results in multiple in-the-moment challenges that diminish our "resilience to future challenges.

How can we bounce back, even more quickly, in these challenging moments?

How can we bounce back often enough that we stay "in the work" (rather than taking months or years to recover from the re-occurring depletion)?

Dr. Janina Fischer has introduced a "Window of Tolerance to Distress" model that is finding traction amid counselling practitioners and clients alike. This model illuminates key factors involved in "bouncing back" - especially noticing what shifts my body's response to the stressors in the moment.

USE THIS BOOKMARK
TO REMIND YOU
TO TAKE (SELF) CARE!

For adults who work directly with students, this model is empowering in multiple ways:
(a) it validates that our physiological response to stress is a valid indicator of distress in the moment
(b) it highlights that adults need to recognize the impact of stress our their bodies
(c) it connects physical, emotional and cognitive responses to stress
(d) it recognizes that our window of tolerance grows and shrinks in response to physiological needs (e.g., sleep, nutrition), emotional events (e.g., attachment relationships), and cognitive factors (e.g., thinking patterns, assessments of what is occurring around us, etc.)
(e) it gives permission for adults to plan for self care. (Note that self care is profoundly different than selfishness or narcissism. Self-care, in contrast to self-focused patterns, includes care for the other. Practically speaking, we provide more functional service when we commit to our own health).

In response to the importance of "bounce back", you will see a number of downloadable bookmarks over the next months to support you in your journey of self-care this year. Share them freely!

New Year ... Building Self-Awareness

1/8/2019

2019. Amazing! What will this year bring?

Joy?
Delight?
Storms?
Surprises?

Likely, all of the above!

How will we process these changes? uncertainties? challenges? If looking ahead daunts us, as adults, just imagine the struggles of children and youth!

The pace of life for youngsters is not slowing down. Many demands and expectations in the day-to-day lives of children and youth leave little time for building the underpinnings of calming down or revving up.

For example, our fast-paced, technology-marinated world keeps focus on outside stimuli. Children and youth are tasked with surfing and sorting incoming information, which frankly is like an endless incoming ocean wave. Unfortunately, high external focus does not leave time to build key skills necessary to self-regulation.

What key skills need to be targeted, built, practiced, reinforced?

self-awareness

(aka, "Interoception", knowing what is going on within me),

These past months I have been working to hone practical ways of teaching "interoception."

So this year, look for "Just Noticing Me", a toolkit that supports children and youth (and the adults who help them!) in developing self-awareness skills.

Parents, teachers and counsellors will find:
- a game board
- cards
- posters
- multiple ways of understanding internal experience (and processes)
- opportunities to build "self-awareness"
- checklists
- inventories and more

Happy 2019!

Remembering - working with strenghts

11/1/2018

When we work with complex children (wherever that occurs) we sometimes struggle with "where to start."

Work with complex children teaches us that merely "correcting behaviour" is an endless chase, like going down Alice's rabbit hole. We may never get back to a reality that we can actually work with!

In our adult lives, most of us prefer to work in areas of our own strengths. Think for a moment:

Have you ever had a supervisor that pointed out your weaknesses (and ignored what you were doing well?)
Did that help?
Would it have helped if every error, glitch, oversight, every "TPS Report" (thank you Office Space!) was highlighted?

Most of us want to be seen in the light of our skills, our competencies, our strengths.
Most of us learn when we are not on "alert", scanning for the next attack. We can get better at our "weaknesses" when we are appreciated for our capabilities.

How does wnat we know apply to working with complex children and youth?

When looking for a place to start with children who are "hard to reach", "resistant", "defiant", "oppositional", "anxious", "withdrawn", etc. consider the following:

........ work........with........strengths........

Strengths are the connection to a successful future for these children.

Find strengths. Dig for them if need be. Create the opportunity for children to explore what might be an interest. Strengths are like little seeds in the ground.

Strengths need room to grow - opportunities, different places to try them out, opportunities to fail and try again
Strengths need nourishment - warmth, encouragement, support and coaching
Strengths need time - patience, celebrating the small steps, standing back and being witness to growth at its own time.

As you find strengths, notice how things begin to get better. Just like our own "bosses" who benefit from strength-based glasses!

(re-posted from 2016)

Finding My Superhero (of calm)

9/14/2018

Welcome to mid-September!

We have put together a FREE, short, engaging course to help children and youth develop skills to rev up and to calm down.
Finding My Inside Superpowers.

In this course (located on a Teachables website) you will find:
1. a video to help young people notice what is happening in their bodies (2 min.)
2. a video that explores how to calm upset (2 min)
3. a checklist of strategies to help calm, based on the neurobiology of calming
4. a certificate of completion.

You can access this "course" to support your work with individual, small group or a whole classroom of children and youth.

Enjoy!

Building Attention - tips for supporting key skills

9/1/2018

What happens when we support the children and youth in our care with strategies to build key skills?

As the new school year commences, consider clear supports for those students who struggle with attention. These students may present with many behaviours:
- they may be hyper-focussed on what they want
- they may be distracted easily by the sights and sounds around them
- they may find it difficult to engage in "important" work, only focussing on "interesting" things.

Use this bookmark to support focussing on classroom work. Give bonus marks every time one strategy is used.

And remember that neuroplasticity is about practice, practice, practice. As students use these strategies they develop their "attention muscles" (or more accurately, the neural connections that help keep attention redirected to the task).

TIps for Summer Mental Health

7/11/2018

Do you recall these summer tips for daily living?

Happy summer!

Life Skills for Teens - Summertime Learnings

6/20/2018

As summer approaches parents often face the question of "What will we do .... for months on end?" Children and youth often echo that same question.

Summer time provides an opportunity to target independence skills. Summer reduces the number of tasks children and youth face during the school year (e.g., homework, tests, daily friendship groups, school dramas). Here is a simple set of tips to focus on those skills that your youngster will eventually need, all in the classroom of family life! Enjoy!

Teaching Calm at School - tips for transitioning into summer

5/22/2018

Toward the end of the year routines at school often falter in the face of special events.

Here are some tips for teaching calm during this transition time.

The end of the year is in sight!