Our children and youth look into our eyes and seek some deep answers:
Am I worthy?
Am I worthy of trust?
Am I OK?
Am I OK even if I fail?
Are all of my errors counted against me?
Do my intentions weigh more than my mishaps?
Will you love me even if...
Will you believe in me even when I don't believe in myself?
How do we convey trust to our children and youth (who still are learning, just like the rest of us)?
We can use words like:
I can count on you ...
You have always been ... (good at)
You never cease to surprise me in how amazing you are...
You could not have done that six months ago. You are really coming into your own...
I trust that you will be able to get through this. I am here to help you when you need it.
You remind me so much of ____________, who is so steadfast and kind.
We can use words actions that convey trust:
- Freedom and responsibility: You are ready for the freedom to do this, and you have shown that you can be responsible in this as well.
- Make age-appropriate agreements. Let's make an agreement. What are we both willing to do to make this successful? OK, let's do it!
- Create success-plans: This is an adventure. What are your concerns? Here are my concerns. What is a good plan to get through? I am here to help if you need it. I have every confidence you will do so well!