#2 Essential Questions - Letting Go - While Holding On
| Transitioning to independence typically includes learning life skills at home. However, there are occasions when the skills that could be learned, will not be learned at home. |  |
This can be true for multiple reasons:
What can parents (caregivers) do when many life skills will only be learned outside the family home?
Parents can target high priority skills that are crucial for immediate success. Parents will likely target practical strategies to support housing and employment.
For example, young adults can be supported in housing by:
a. parents providing a "launching ramp" for housing. Some parents pay the first three months rent (leaving the security deposit in the hands of the young adult). The young adult then has 90 days to find a job for the fourth month of rent. Whether the security deposit is returned (and motivation for that) then depends on the young adult.
b. reviewing the many options to having an upscale home, including: a room in a house with five other people; a shared basement suite; housing that comes along with a job; rooming with friends; a (paid) room in a house with a relative, etc.
For example, young adults can be encouraged to find employment:
a. finding multiple part-time jobs
b. finding jobs at the place of schooling (e.g., cafeteria at school)
c. finding a part-time job and doing part-time self-employment jobs (e.g., cleaning, landscaping, dog walking, etc.)
- someone else at home already performs that life skill better (laundry, cleaning, budgeting)
- standards for success at home are too high to reach
- the young adult is not motivated to learn the skill
- there is no urgency to support a young adult to learn the skill
- other family issues take precedence (e.g., illness, family conflict, etc.)
- the young adult’s desire for independence outstrips his/her skills to stay inside the family home to learn the skills
- the young adult will not take direction from the family members in the home
- there is no opportunity for real practice in learning the skill, etc.
What can parents (caregivers) do when many life skills will only be learned outside the family home?
Parents can target high priority skills that are crucial for immediate success. Parents will likely target practical strategies to support housing and employment.
For example, young adults can be supported in housing by:
a. parents providing a "launching ramp" for housing. Some parents pay the first three months rent (leaving the security deposit in the hands of the young adult). The young adult then has 90 days to find a job for the fourth month of rent. Whether the security deposit is returned (and motivation for that) then depends on the young adult.
b. reviewing the many options to having an upscale home, including: a room in a house with five other people; a shared basement suite; housing that comes along with a job; rooming with friends; a (paid) room in a house with a relative, etc.
For example, young adults can be encouraged to find employment:
a. finding multiple part-time jobs
b. finding jobs at the place of schooling (e.g., cafeteria at school)
c. finding a part-time job and doing part-time self-employment jobs (e.g., cleaning, landscaping, dog walking, etc.)
