Triggers do matter ... and impact bounce back (+ BOOKMARK)

What is a trigger?  Why are some moments so hard to recover from?  

A trigger is a stimuli that pulls us back into a time of danger. 

• The present, which may indeed be safe, now feels the full breadth and depth of feelings of danger, causing our bodies to tumble into a serious threat response. 
• Our biochemical threat response sends stress hormones through our body. 
• Our emotions and thinking are hijacked.  
• Our triggered responses are truly out of sync with the present
• Often we respond with a too-much, too-harsh, too-strong (far beyond a reasoned level) response.

Our triggers do matter. 

• When we respond to current non-life-threatening events as though they were life-threatening we have a mismatched response to what is going on with a student. 
• Often we end up processing our response with regret, or with justifying our over-the-top reaction.
• We may come to conclusions from those moments that are unreasonable (partially to justify our responses, and partially because we have escalated a situation and have thereby forced an outcome)

So what can we do about those things that trigger us.  
1.  Understand the nature of triggers.  Know that triggers are not unusual.  Most people have had very hard stuff happen to them.
2.   Identify, if possible, your triggers.  Write them down.  Track them down.
3.  Avoid the triggers (if possible).
4.  Make a plan to handle your response, should you be triggered.  For example, 
- take a break (in whatever way you can)
- calm yourself through interventions "I am OK, I am breathing deeply, I can handle this, etc." (see the FREE bookmark above)
.5.  Seek counselling to decrease the number of triggers, and  your response to a trigger.

And what do we do after being triggered?
a. calm yourself (knowing it is longer and harder than other typical emotional responses)
b.  practice self-compassion (see May 2019 post)
c.  apologize, if appropriate to the circumstance.  Help the student(s) understand that overreaction is not the best response, and you will handle that for the next time. 
d.  Address any challenging behavior on the part of the student.

Finally, be kind to yourself.  Triggers matter.  You are bigger than your triggers.  And you matter more!